Yesterday I was half the man I used to be

Sat, 21 Jun 2008 20:34:31 GMT

Ate myself sick again. I dont know why I do this. Im gross

Mon, 05 May 2008 01:40:25 GMT

I think I might call out of work tomorrow to study for my final... Im not sure well see. But yeah that would help me out alot if I could focus on that. But I dont wanna leave my Tommy all by his lonesome. Ugh I love my pcbff he's fantastic in all ways except one I guess. Ok back to studying. Oh yeah today Is going to be my last cheet day for a while Ive gotten pretty obnoxious with the eating thing so Ive got to get it under control again. Total can do.

Sun, 27 Apr 2008 17:54:29 GMT

My Blue Heaven~ Taking Back Sunday is like the most intense song ever. The best way to hear it is in your car so you can like screem your guts out. That might be my fav song on the new album... Yeah it its decided.

I really need to stop getting side tracked and write this paper. If I can just get a high be I can probably still get an A in this course. I just cant accept an B in such a lame fucking class.

This is what I do to keep from doing what I should be doing

Sat, 26 Apr 2008 14:14:50 GMT

Ok huge paper due monday I've got 1 of 5 pages sudo done but instead of work on it I've been stuffing my face with rice at 9 in the morning an surfing the net. I think I'm gonna bomb my mid term and it's going to be all my fault.

In other news Sayuri invited me to go with her and some other people to Niagra Falls. Were going to stay in a hastas (however you spell that) because its cheeper. Its going to be great im excited. Its about time I stacked up on some new adventures anyway. But we cant go till fall aparently because Ryan cant take a vacation till then boo.

So this is the nonsense thats been on my mind

Thu, 24 Apr 2008 01:28:50 GMT

I hate likeing him its so crazy. Im unable to make a simple conversation with him anymore. If he wants me he should just say so, I think ive put out all the signs. FUCK!

Sun, 20 Apr 2008 15:09:23 GMT

I'm pretty bummed about my term paper. Its taking way to long for me to get it together. Grr plus I need to write a one page review for this movie I haven't watched yet and read my chapter and packet all by monday 6 pm. Way to much to do. I could probably read the packet at lunch monday but I wont because i'll be to busy goofing off with Tom cause that's what I do now I know I'm ridiculous. Did I mention I need to type all these things up at the library because my laptop isn't working and this computer doesn't have word WTF.

And the most annoying thing of all is that Id much rather be painting right now that doing any of this.

On a good note though Ive picked my classes for the Fall and its pretty settled. What I'm not so sure of is weather i'm going to leave Target to do my teaching service hours or how I'm going to work this whole thing out. I guess I could switch to closing but that's a pain in the ass leading up to the holidays but I need money so I have to work. Grr this isn't such a good "Note" anymore now is it. If anyone out their has a job they could offer me that would be awesome just as long as you can offer me 9.80 or more I'm so up for it.

So its pretty set in stone that Ill be getting my degree Spring of 09' and I really need to think about where I want to get my teaching degree. Where do I want to live for that matter. Anyone looking for a roommate next around January?

Go Speed Racer Go!

Sat, 15 Mar 2008 23:42:20 GMT

Rain returns to Korea from Germany on 31th Aug after filming 'Speed Racer'

He stayed for two months in Germany for filming 'Speed Racer'.

Rain casted as Taejo Togokhan, a rookie racer.

Writer's Block: That's the Worst

Sun, 02 Mar 2008 18:08:16 GMT

What's the worst thing that could happen to you today? Bonus question: How would that thing potentially benefit you?

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Well I could find out I have to go to work today. Or my car could breakdown. That would really screw me over.

Work'n on my fitness

Sun, 02 Mar 2008 18:02:04 GMT

Woo Hoo lost 3 pounds this week isnt that fantastic. (4 pounds total) Im pumped. My diet pretty much consists of a granola bar and fruit cup for breakfast, some sort of fruits for lunch, something small when I get home, and a regular persons portion of dinner no seconds. And I work on my fitness 5-6 days a week. Its pretty beat I know but I really want to lose 35 pounds before summer.

Ps I was watching Spongebob but now aparently "Barbie's Mareposa" is coming on and you know what im gonna watch it cause im that lame.

Mon, 25 Feb 2008 02:37:54 GMT

Im practicing not hating myself. Its super hard but im trying not to punish myself so much. I bought myself cute new shoes and Ive been working on my fitness all week lost one pound WOO! I know pretty silly thing to celebrate but Whatever Im trying.

I feel like going to the movies...

Writer's Block: Love Is...

Mon, 18 Feb 2008 00:19:22 GMT

Who or what do you really love?

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Love is big. Its not to be had by someone so unsure as me.

Writer's Block: Happily Ever After?

Sun, 17 Feb 2008 23:49:24 GMT

How did you spend Valentine's Day?

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I worked of course because thats all I ever do. Then I came home to a pretty red rose and chocolate that my dad left for me and my sister. That was real cute and made me happy but then it was a little sad ya know. Anyway I think over all the day was pretty pleseant. Oh yeah Shanika got me a cute purse that I super love but I cant wear it tomorrow Its too small to fit all my school books in but Tuesday definatly Tuesday!

Writer's Block: One Day to Live

Sun, 17 Feb 2008 23:42:57 GMT

What would you do if you had one day left to live?

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If I only had one day left to live Id think Id paint as many painting as I could and leave a note explaining to my mom.

Writer's Block: It's Hard to Describe

Sun, 17 Feb 2008 23:36:51 GMT

What is one thing you struggle to describe?

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I struggle to describe to anyone even myself exactly what it is that I want.....for me I mean myself.

Fri, 08 Feb 2008 00:13:19 GMT

Im watching Hot fuzz. I wanted to see it but not right now an especially not with constrant narration. Its annoying. I just wanted to be in peace tonight but I guess things change better change my tude. Im going to pray everyday for god to afford me the means to move out and live my own life minus my constantly up my ass siblings.

Writer's Block: Love This Artist

Mon, 04 Feb 2008 02:39:51 GMT

Who is your favorite artist?

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Right now Sondre Lerche is ruling my world. I have to get that Life as Dan Soundtrack before I go mad with want. You should check him out sometime.

What Im doing

Mon, 04 Feb 2008 00:45:01 GMT

Im watching this Taiwanese show called It Started with a kiss 2. With subtitles of course its so funny. I like foreign shows online like mini soap operas

Writer's Block: My Own Creation

Sat, 02 Feb 2008 19:45:50 GMT

If you could create anything artistic, what would it be?

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Umm I guess Id really want to learn to paint how I feel inside like Basqiat.

Its freakin freezin in here!

Wed, 30 Jan 2008 23:42:18 GMT

Yey finished The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath. Really good read, thought I might go insane right along with her. I actually miss the book now. Ive started a Terry McMillan book called "Mama" its dramatic, I hope its good. History of Film is terribly lame. Hot Nate's in my class but he never spoke to me. but hey nor did I. To intimidated.

Yesterday was my neices birthday! I didnt get to see her and I feel really bad for that but she should be coming over later tonight.

Felt like adding this image of Lloyd an my cusin Allana taken at my Grandmothers this past spring.

Well Im back from DC

Sun, 27 Jan 2008 01:27:05 GMT

Had a fantastic time. Really love travel adventures. Wow im alot sleepier than I thought. it took my 20 min to write this
I took this photo like 10 times an still messed up

I feel like I should call Jen Ms Daisey or something

Clearly this frame was put here for me!

The ying...

Thu, 24 Jan 2008 00:15:39 GMT

I made the Dean's List

Sun, 13 Jan 2008 22:56:57 GMT

Today is cold but im happy ive done everything i needed to do today. Yesterday I made Jenny happy again with a birthday gift even though she was insistant that she didnt want one but since giving is like my favorite thing to do I had to. She loved it and I love her all went well. Didnt get to see JuJu off but Its ok. I think my horrible annoying cold is going away finally so Im happyer. Didnt get to go to Lloyd memorial service yesterday... that makes me sad but this all happened because i made the wrong choice in the first place.

I made it through

Sat, 12 Jan 2008 00:54:51 GMT

Well i made it through Lloyds birthday minus tears. Im shocked. I love him and miss him so much. Did i mebtion Im sick as a dog.

Today my heart aches

Fri, 11 Jan 2008 01:30:21 GMT

This is my Lloyd Hart Jr. He died Sunday July 22, 2007. Today would be his 25th birthday. That lil baby at his side is his daughter JoAle Hart she wasent even a year old when he died. I miss him we all miss him it hurts.

He was the Sun to me

Fri, 04 Jan 2008 00:15:32 GMT

I miss Lloyd so much... I dont know how to express it. Christmas day I sat in the corner and tried my best to keep my eyes from getting that watery im about to cry look. He was the sun the brightest spot in any room. I'll be honest and say I was jelous but thats all gone now, I just wish him back. I feel so alone around my family without him, he always seemed to pop up when I started to tuck into my shell and talk to me and make me smile. Christmas I thought the gap would never stop growing between me and everyone else. And Im so selfish because when I fall apart crying I get so mad at him "why did he leave me here like this". Im so confused and upset and everything all at once. My head hurts and I miss him.